Office of Wave Compliance

Department of Records, Disclosures and Regrettable Necessities

Legal notice

Form L-1 · Filed in the public interest · Est. 1958

Read this first. The Office writes in its own voice. Everything stated below as a fact is true, and everything the Office does not yet know is marked pending rather than invented. Where the law requires plain words, the Office uses plain words and resents it.

Article I — What this is

  1. None of this is real. The Office of Wave Compliance, the Vow, Detection™, the Three-Second Rule™ and the Institute of Reciprocal Gestures are inventions. So are the Members.
  2. No membership exists. Nothing on this site is for sale. No payment is taken, no price is charged, and no order is accepted. The prices shown to you during the Waiver are a question, not an offer.
  3. This site is a demand test. It exists to find out whether anyone would want the thing described. The only real numbers it produces are the count of people who asked to be told, and what they said they would pay.
  4. The Office does not believe an unreturned wave is a criminal matter. The Office simply believes it ought to be.

Article II — Who publishes this

Required by French law (mentions légales, LCEN art. 6-III).

Publisher
Château d'Artois Productions, SASU
Registered office
79 rue d'Artois, 59000 Lille, France
Share capital
€500
RCS
Lille Métropole 995 093 176
SIRET
995 093 176 00015
VAT number
FR 71 995 093 176
Directeur de la publication
Tristan Bessudo
Contact
By post, to the registered office above. Do not write to a person. Write to the Office. An electronic address follows once a domain exists. The Office is in no hurry, and rather likes the stamp.
Telephone
pending — the Office is aware the law expects one, and declines to print a number that rings in an empty room.

Every figure above is a matter of public record and was copied from the register rather than recalled. The telephone is the single outstanding item, and it is shown as outstanding, because a legal notice that guesses is worse than a legal notice with a hole in it.

Mentions légales (version française)

Éditeur : Château d'Artois Productions, SASU au capital de 500 €, dont le siège social est au 79 rue d'Artois, 59000 Lille, France, immatriculée au RCS de Lille Métropole sous le numéro 995 093 176 (SIRET 995 093 176 00015), n° de TVA intracommunautaire FR 71 995 093 176. Directeur de la publication : Tristan Bessudo. Hébergeur : Cloudflare, Inc., 101 Townsend Street, San Francisco, CA 94107, États-Unis. Le présent site est une œuvre de fiction ; aucune adhésion, aucun produit et aucun service n'y est vendu.

Article III — Who keeps the building

Host
Cloudflare, Inc. — Cloudflare Pages, with Workers KV and D1
Host's registered address
101 Townsend Street, San Francisco, CA 94107, United States

The Office does not own the building. The Office rents a cupboard in it.

Article IV — What the Office keeps

The Office keeps as little as it can bear to.

What never leaves your device

During the Waiver you give a name, you take the Oath, and you sign. None of it is ever sent anywhere. Your name, your signature and your Member number exist only in the memory of your own browser and on the certificate you download. They are gone when you close the tab. This is not a promise about intentions; it is a property of the code, and an automated test fails the build if any request ever carries them.

What is sent, if you ask to be told

If — and only if — you tick the two boxes and press Put me on the list, one record is created:

FieldWhy
your e-mail addressso the Office can write to you once
the Signal you choseto know which thing to make
your price answerto know what to charge for it
the wording of the consent you agreed to, and whenso the Office can prove it asked properly
that you stated you are 18 or overbecause the film is not for children

If you press Not now, just send my vote, the record is the same without the e-mail address, and cannot be traced to you.

The doorman

To stop one person submitting ten thousand times, the Office keeps a one-way hash of your IP address, salted and rotated daily. It cannot be turned back into an address, it is not linked to your record, and it is forgotten when the day turns.

The Radar

If you open the Wave Radar and press Start Patrol, your browser sends your position while the page is open. The Office:

The Radar stops when you stop it, and after ten minutes it stops itself. It does not work with the page closed. The Office finds this disappointing and legally convenient.

What the Office does not do

How long

Waitlist records are kept until the Signals go on sale and the one promised e-mail is sent, or until you ask for erasure, or until the Office abandons the project — whichever comes first. Radar records are kept for two minutes. The doorman's hash is kept for one day.

Who else touches it

Cloudflare, Inc., as host and processor. Nobody else. There is no mailing list provider, because there is no mailing.

The full record — every field, every retention period, the lawful basis for each, and the screening note on whether an impact assessment is required — is set out in the Office's notice on the keeping of records.

Article V — Your rights, which the Office concedes

Under the GDPR you may ask the Office to: show you what it holds about you, correct it, delete it, restrict what it does with it, hand it to you in a portable form, and object to it entirely. You may withdraw your consent at any time, and withdrawing it does not undo what was lawful before.

Ask by writing to the contact above. The Office will answer within one month, which is the law, and which the Office considers generous of the law.

If the Office's answer displeases you, you may complain to the CNIL (Commission Nationale de l'Informatique et des Libertés, 3 place de Fontenoy, 75007 Paris) or to the supervisory authority where you live. Decisions of the CNIL are final and may not be appealed to the Office.

Article VI — On the matter of generated images

  1. The Members are not people. Dennis, Leonard and Trish do not exist. Their faces, voices and afternoons are generated with artificial intelligence.
  2. The film is generated too, including its voices and its music. Where a person appears to be filmed, no person was filmed.
  3. Any resemblance to a living person is an accident of the machine, and the Office would like to hear about it.
  4. This notice is given because it is right, and because European law increasingly agrees.

Article VII — The Vow and the law

  1. The Waiver is not a contract. It creates no obligation, confers no membership, and would embarrass any court asked to consider it.
  2. Your vow is a different matter, and is between you and the person whose wave you did not return.
  3. The certificate is a picture. The Member number is a number. Neither entitles you to anything, including entry.
  4. Vessels are excluded. This has always been the position of the Office.

Article VIII — Ownership and the borrowing of things

  1. The text, the mark, the film and the code are the property of the publisher named in Article II.
  2. WAVERS borrows the form of institutional and pharmaceutical advertising in general. It is not connected with, endorsed by, or complaining about any actual company, product, authority or signage system, and any name that resembles a real one is either a coincidence or a joke at the expense of a genre rather than a business.
  3. If you believe something here is yours, write to the Office. The Office will take it down first and feel wronged afterwards.

Article IX — Governing law

French law governs this notice. The Office observes that this is also the law that invented the mentions légales, and considers the two facts related.